I started with lots of planning around many ideas and thought that I could look more in-depth into Maori culture, I began writing down several artists and looked at the main things they focused on, it was hard to find a particular artist that fit with my theme/WHY I wanted to use the Maori culture idea as I feel that the Maori culture is slowly fading away, as people no longer make the effort to promote the Maori culture and get more children involved. This is a sad thought as your own culture is slowly pushed to the side, for me it's hard to find out about my culture and where I come from as in 2017 I lost my Grandad and unfortunately took all of our cultural ways with him, making this a not only difficult subject to work on but difficult to work on something you don't know a lot about. My last year of art I have decided to challenge myself and take two lots of art, being photography and painting, this year, in particular, I wanted to look more closely about the Maori culture, and the change we have experienced over the last decade or so, in my opinion, different people have different beliefs when it comes to Maori culture, some people, for example, the older generation look at us younger generation and think we are disrespecting our culture. I have had many ideas of what I wanted to do this year and considered taking portrait photos of people dressed up using a Korowai, feathers and a variety of greenstones, However, I had a bit of a setback and no longer wanted to continue with my original idea, as in myself I felt this wasn't good enough, and I didn't want to mess it up and make my culture look bad, I have recently come to the conclusion that I don't care about what others think and I shouldn't listen to the ones constantly putting my ideas down, so I have decided to go ahead with my ideas and see where it takes me next.
This year in painting I have decided to base my why/theme around family, family, to me is everything and I love how a photo can capture such precious moments. when us three siblings were younger there was never a dull moment and the adults were never shy to get the cameras out and get sneaky photos of us, our grandad had an old school video camera that he would take everywhere he went, we have so many home videoes, although I was too young it was funny to see what kids do when they know there is a camera around. Most of the videos contain my brother crying and complaining about this and that but they also capture beautiful memories from our childhood. My series of work is based on my childhood and growing up. I have almost finished my first series of work which is pretty much based around my mum and dad getting married and having kids, mum and dad always provided us with everything we need in life and ensured that we were always in a safe and secure environment, I look up to my parents in a big way and I am forever grateful for their love an support through everything. all my painting this year will be around my family and our lives so far, together. There are many photos that capture very certain moments in our life, that instantly make you look at it and remember that particular moment in time.
However, I have now come to a standstill as I am unsure about what to do for painting this seems to be an ongoing problem for me that honestly stresses me out on a daily, for me its the thought of not being good enough and my work not being up to the standard its suppose to, I want my board this year to be the best one I have done however achieving this seems like an uphill losing battle, I struggle to find my feet and struggle to keep my head above water as it seems like I'm drowning. The thought of doing 2 boards which consist of 6 panels all up freaks me out and I start to doubt my ability to achieve what I know in my head is achievable, so at the moment I currently have no plans on what I'm doing for painting and the stress feels like it is building up massively, similar to photography I feel like I'm getting nowhere with the Kapa Haka uniforms still in the back rooms and unable to access makes it hard to complete work and feel confident in finishing my board in time, to ensure its up to a good standard. Right now I see no potential progress happening it feels that I'm taking steps back rather than moving forward, I think I have taken on to much and will not be able to reach my goal of finishing two boards and a very high level. I want to do incredibly well in art this year but due to falling behind because of my own stupid self, I have let my workload get too much to handle, and now I'm left trying to resurface myself and start all over again, with a term already gone I am already pushing my boundaries
However, I have now bounced back and have now started printmaking as I found it easier than painting, due to my set back, I have fallen a little behind catching up is difficult but I am slowly making progress with the help of Mrs. Clemence, as for my photography we have still been unable to access the kapa haka uniforms, and has left me thinking I'm going to have to restart my board all over again, and with having little to zero ideas of how I'm going to get this board done, leaves me a little frustrated. I wanted to base my board around my culture but without all of the materials, it makes it almost impossible to complete. I have now come to the realisation that I will probably not finish either of my boards which leaves me with 24 credits less, this is super frustrating as I know what I am capable but I just don't have any good ideas. These last couple of weeks have been absolute hell and I feel like I'm failing at every possible thing. I feel like the whole world just crumbles underneath your feet without you even realising until you are just drowning in your own failure. Art is super difficult and two boards seem to be sending me over the edge these credits are crucial but my stress levels are through the roof, I have no good ideas, no skills and feel like I'm the only one struggling. I'm one of the only ones in my class that has absolutely nothing on either of my boards which makes me feel even worse and makes me feel like more of a failure than I already am. ART THIS YEAR WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.
So other than previous post I have actually managed to come up with and idea for painting and photography that I have surprisingly stuck with, even though I have only come up with these ideas just recently with the due date creeping up really quickly, after many long debates and disagreements I finally feel like i am achieving something. In painting I have been working really hard to complete and series of linocuts that relate to woman and their body image, what I was trying to do is create a series of work that explains the harsh comments woman get about their bodies, and that it doesn't matter your size, colour or looks everyone is beautiful in their own way, "Your weight doesn't define your worth." 
Whereas with photography it took me almost three terms to come up with an idea that I was willing to stick with, I decided to use Caite's little sister as my model creating amazing photos of her simply playing on the playground and just having fun, I mean what kid doesn't love playing inn the playground. Maddie is very photogenic so this was perfect, most of the photos I have taken are like I said of her having fun and playing around, other photos are just really simple photographs of her shoes and hands on some of the obstacles of the playground. For the first photoshoot we were able to collect over 50 photo easy. The screenshot provided is panel 1 completed.